Granted,
most of the questions that folks ask me are civil and intelligent, . .
.
and
sometimes they're not. I'll try to address the intelligent questions
here:
Have you
had any formal training?
This question always flatters me, but I must always answer "no".
Besides, I might ruin my tuxedo that way.
Do you offer
mask-making apprenticeships or workshops?
Not at this time -- but I can recommend an excellent book on the subject:
The Prop Builder's Mask-Making Handbook, by Thurston James,
Betterway Books, ISBN 1-55870-166-4. Check with Amazon.Com.
Will you
send me a mask sample?
No. There are no such things as 'mask samples'.
Will you
sell me an unpainted mask so I can paint it myself?
No. I don't sell or release unfinished masks.
Can I buy
a mask on Lay-A-Way?
Nope. I've gotten burned on this, so I swore to myself 'never
again'.
My payment
is in the mail but I don't feel like waiting, so can you send me the mask
before the payment arrives, anyway?
No. Nuh-uh. No Way. I've been burned on this one, too.
Next year file early!
Will you
sell me masks at wholesale prices?
No. There is only one pair of hands doing everything -- mine.
Please remember
that these masks are art.
Do you rent
masks?
No. In compliance with local and state health laws, I cannot accept
any returns on
masks or headdresses.
Do you make
wrestling masks?
No -- my masks may be wild and uninhibited, but they are not violent, .
. . much.
Can I come
visit your studio?
Sorry, but not at this time. My studio is in my home, and my home
is not open to the
public (not to mention the fact that my insurance agent would have a fit).
Why haven't
you answered my e-mail?
Could be any of a number of reasons --
(1) The return e-mail address you provided was invalid, so my response
bounced because of 'fatal errors'.
(please try again)
(2) The address you initially e-mailed to was incorrect -- in other
words,
your e-mail never reached me.
(please try again)
(3) My system might have crashed, sending all messages into oblivion.
(please try again)
(4) I might be under a very heavy work load and haven't had the chance,
or I might be rebuilding after a tornado (this is for real -- we were hit
by a tornado in April of 1998 -- egadz).
(patience, please)
(5) I might be taking a vacation/holiday.
(patience, please)
(6) Your communique was impertinent and/or rude.
(harumph)
(7) Your server may have automagically dumped my response -- those
evil, rotten, nasty spammers have highjacked my e-mail addy, causing
it to be socially infected with e-mail cooties, until said servers perform
a 'cleansing' of some sort.
(grrrrrrrr)
